I'm not sure I want to blog. I have tons of things that I want to mark in my blog, but there's a big stone we need to swallow. Death is a scary always near-the-corner manifestation, that we constantly try to ignore, and most of the time we succeed. It's always hard to see the bull's eye with courage. Truth is that I didn't know how to react, and even though I not panicked or anything, I do got in a stupid mood. I wasn't strong enough when needed. I'm in debt, but I shall not err twice.

Ok, here's is some of what I wanted to blog, but all is really eclipsed by sadness, somehow... Last Tuesday (22/03) I merrily went with Allan to Manzanillo. The drive was a new experience, I finally got the idea of how driving can be exhausting. It's numbing if you let it, and your lower half gets tired after three hours. Despite all of this, I like to get Lucy against the wind, over roads I had never experienced in this way. It was as if a new road was being drew before my eyes. I had previously been there, but not really. Speed is something one gets confident pretty easy. Of course I have hear enough of that situation brings problem, so I decided to never eat over the 100km/hr, take my time no matter how much I wanted to be there, and just remember that driving isn't a videogame, people do get hurt. It may sound stupid, but I learn somewhere that accidents main four motives are rush, overconfidence and so. The good news is that I learnt a bit, and the return drive, was many times more smooth (or so said my crew ;).

Going there was practically a bliss, imagine this. Either work or I could go to the beach and spend 5 days with my friends and 7 beautiful girls... Tough decision. Did I mention how I had all the food and could sleep all I wanted? I was so trilled by this, that I burnt a CD to enjoy the trip... Which really was that music to put, no selection of theme, jeje. It didn't matter, I like that music for each song, and besides, Allan and myself can have good talks. I would like to make a point here. One of the very special things I share with Allan is that we are a couple of friends that don't need to speak all the time, we can appreciate the silence or the music. I can't do that with every friend. Many feel that they somehow must feel a void, or that if we are together and don't talk, something is wrong... Non sense, it can be a good thing. On the other hand, Allan got good music for the ride. Cuban music is funny. "Tu novia te botó, te botó" (Your girlfriend trashed you, trashed you)

We arrived three hours latter, and it was like Julio said, a big brother house. With us, population rose to 16 people (well sex-equilibrated). For those of you who hadn't had the chance to be there. It's a small house near the green, yes, I'm talking about the green as in golf camp, hole 16. It has four, very good disposed, rooms and you guessed right four bathrooms. I categorize places for how many bathrooms they got. It is proportional to wealth. Try it. (My house always have 1...) And if you want to know, cities have MacDonald's as metrics :)

This can become a very lengthy entry, but I want to describe a bit, the inhabitants of the camp. There's papa and momma of Julio, very nice people, who have always been good to me and I suspect see me as a child (just as they see their son). There's Erika and Karla, their brother talks all the time how different they are, but to my eyes, they are the same with different light. Both have strong tempers and are very very loyal to their people, who they consider their people is the difference. Then are the boyfriends, although Karla's guy arrived later than us. I didn't had the chance to meet him above the so-that's-how-it-looks level, so I will no tell more about him. Roberto, Erika's guy, is another thing.

In him, I saw how completely abnormal I am, jeje. He is very talkative, like the always needing attention kind of guy. And he loves to tell how much he is despised for it, how he uses his talk as a weapon, to protect him and at the same time to be a heroe, or so he says. He loves to tell how great he is, what he can achieve, what he know, certainly there's nothing he don't know that matters even though every times he talks to an engineer he keeps saying how dumb he is in comparison while trying to insult you by calling you geek. The truth is that it caused in me many things. I just saw a poor guy trying to be loved... And maybe many persons don't like him, but I somehow don't dislike him, how can someone hate a so obvious needed guy? On the other hand, I just didn't have the energy to discuss with him, que hueva. He is shallow in many ways, but I respect him, because after all the pretentious he does feel the words he says.

For months I have been changing here and there to correct my posture, my speech, my wardrobe, etc. And maybe is that I'm most of the time we the same people, hearing how the change is very visible, that I thought well I'm somewhat near to my goal. With Roberto I found out how far away it is. Let me make it clear, I am what I am, I'm not selling myself, nor trying to hide my geekness. What I'm doing is trying to grow, and better myself. I find nothing wrong in being ñoño, having interest in arcane math or dead languages, that's who I am, but I'm much more. When people see me I want tell them more. And this guy easily pointed out my deficiencies for the small details, and I thank him even if he isn't aware he helped me.

There was also a Tom, whose greatest merit is how drunk he can get. I'm serious as far as I could tell he had the personality of a jar, until he gets drunk, when it converts to a broken jar. But something good he must have, because he has three friends that were worried about him. And now I shall pass to the girls. One is Fuen, Fuensanta, named after a Mexican muse, who's really nice to talk and as her name enlightens, she is of the Catholic old school of thought, in other words she has a heavy religious aura/background. I only had the chance to really talk with her one night, when she started it by "Why are you so mute? Are you shy?" That topic has the paradoxically effect on me of making me babble so much about how I'm indeed serious and shy. The good thing is that most of the time I do click on my head and move the conversation to another thing. So that's basically the easiest way for me to talk... Weird isn't? Yet, I'll with some luck, talk about that night later. There's also Lupita, which as I told her is the kind of person I can with ease talk, joke or discuss. I think Lupita is like Padilla in the charisma arena. If you don't like her in the first five minutes, please check your amargator rating. Gaby is the name of another girl of manzas camp, she's a physician just like Karla and Fatima,... And Tom, yes he was there also. She likes hip hop and is in love with the camera, as Pollo said. I think she likes spending time with Julio, don't think he has noticed and he will probably deny it. I'm not talking about she liking him in a romantic way, though. And finally Fatima, she's a skinny gal, easy to smile and charming. If I were to decide who looked better of all the girls, maybe I wouldn't choose her, but she is sexy in a cute way. Anyway dear reader, if you expected me gaining anything substantial from living with these ladies, you haven't read enough of my blog or maybe you have ;)

It's kind of hard to write all this in one session, and I can't visualize anyone enthusiastic enough to read all in one, so I'll take a break.

p.s. Nettie, I was delighted by your comment. First time I got one from someone I have meet in person. =)

p.s.s. Shall I get a catch-phrase to end my posts? Nah, having "coi" as my welcome-signatured-default-message is enough to annoy people :D

p.s.s.s. I had to put it here, right away... It seems that blogger's spell-checker doesn't have "geekness" as valid, it suggest me to change it to sexiness, should I do it?