Am I disappointed by the outcome? No. Do I feel it was necessary and healthy? Yes. How do I feel? It's kind on tranquil, it really is a hole. My wish for life is sypnonning away. It's time to change. I know this shall pass, and I even knewed in advance, part of me, anyway. And as I said, it wasn't so hard to be rejected. I even think it was harder for her.

So many things to write here, but none should stay, for it wasn't meant to be. She said she didn't know, and the thing that really hit me low was "I didn't expected this, as I wouldn't expect it coming from Hagen, Frank or others". Not being special, I suppose is the phrase. And I couldn't tell her that I thought I received signals of interest from her, what for? It would only make it harder for her...

"The reason it cannot be is because I have someone else." That's it. The King is Dead - Long Live the King.

I want this friendship to survive, eventhough. And really want the best for her...