Thursday, October 07, 2004

I feel lonely. I feel sad, but not so much as I thought I'll be. Maybe it's the fact that I made my mind like a week ago... Today I started a new phase, one to reclaim my thoughts. My mind is like in vacuum, I prefer to work to avoid seeing that nothingness I did, that puncture I made to myself, to save it. NO I won't describe what exactly happened. There's a smell of anger in my heart; everyone knows, it's a demeanor to my true feeling, of utter despair. I should damn my luck for letting this happen, and yet there's this voice, who says "Gracias" not to me. Ever optimistic as I am, I envision that this is for the best, why can't I let me fall! I for once want to let myself pity myself, but NO, my ego resist it.

I wish I could yell and see myself not responsible for what happened. I wish I weren't free and master of my life, but I know better, but I for a fucking reason know better. For once I really wish I believed that ignorance is bliss, but no I know better.

Truth shall let me free!!!


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