Saturday, June 26, 2004

Today this morning, I leave Lucy to the mechanics, at last... I don't know how much it will be, at most 6,200 5,000. I don't know how I can afford that much. Yet, I find it a matter of sitting and think to know how to get that.

And here's where things go rough. Yesterday I had a really interesting discussion with Diana and Allan. To tell the truth they were many not just one topic. I discovered how hard it is to me to remember my first impression of people, how I disagree with the importance of appearance in what people is. We went to that far corner of the city I almost never go, and then to Allan's apartment. We experimented the secret recipe of micheladas. Then he read me tarot. The strange part is that I remember when he said he wouldn't read it ('cause I was too skeptic). So someone has changed.

Let me state this. I don't believe blindly in what cards say, yet I do know them as an effective way to see things. Part of the magic is in Allan's knowledge and another ratio comes from myself giving me a chance to see if anything applies. The first read wasn't so revealing to Allan or myself. We know enough of myself to see the great pattern of my life. However, maybe it was the alcohol in my veins, but I took it a little more serious (probably due to seeing my life in the tree of life...). So I saw that I'm like a horse with no direction running through the wild. And here comes the twist. I like that in my life, I do many thing to keep it this way. (In other words I like the results in the short and middle terms.) Yet in the long run it isn't really what I want. Geburah says I'll get late to the battle, or worse I feel like it. And that's true, in the sense of so many times I've discovered I got late to projects and people. So I'll restrict myself a bit, I'll get a focus as Allan said. (Just what is it?) Who said that materialism is easy :)

Then I tried to ask for the 3 basic questions (work, love and health). Allan didn't want to answer the last one, some issue he has against describing my death. In brief my work-life is amazing my love-life sucks. Thanks for all the fish... It resonates how much rational I am, how I've the attitude that if I wish so I can achieve anything on the mental level, blah blah. So cards say there are multiple paths I can follow where I'll have a bright future alone... I take this as an opportunity, a warning if you choose.

And here lays a double warning, 'cause the read said that part of the problem is that I take it as a war... Emotional intelligence is what I strive for. So I take two goals from that night try the Joey's path and get a focus.

And if you haven't read enough, it seems I'm very possessive of people I care for, I'll need to watch for it (for jealous is right after it).