Saturday, June 11, 2005

I'm sick! I'm sick of not being brave enough, or too dumb. I bloat with how much auto sabotage I have done. I want to say "I'M DONE WITH FRIENDSHIPS THAT ARE ONE WAY!!!" Anyone reading, if you don't want to be with me, don't, that simple! Don't invent excuses, if you rather be with others, do so, just don't waste my time, my life, my feelings!!

I'm a rational guy, I understand one incident, two, but when it is a pattern, don't cheat yourself and I'll be responsible if I fall again for the same trick, but then, don't call it friendship, it isn't.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

As you may know, I'm not that fond of writing down my dreams, but here are two I had the night before...

I'm in a corporate building, it's IBM, there are several of us having a good time, there is monge and pollo (I know, he doesn't work there...) and more. There are even at least two children. Some kind of party is going on, we start playing "viborita" around the cubicles. I'm holding hands with these two kids and I tell to them, "hold strong, we could lost our way in the middle of these offices". Of course it happens; around a corner someone doesn't hold enough. We are in the middle of the corporate labyrinth. There is five of us, monge, mastachi, the kids and myself wandering in the empty work place. Something isn't right, something is slightly out of normality. We meet pollo who is also lost and we continue walking to get somewhere known. Don't remember exactly the details, but as we walk, I come to the conclusion, we aren't in our world, some parallel reality, a far harsher reality. Do you envision resident evil kinda world? Here's where my capricornial nature arrives, "ok, don't panic" (Yesterday I saw HHGG ;) "We are at IBM no matter what plane of reality we are stuck on" "I'll just call 5555" It's technocracy you see ;) One can expect certain things. And as certain as I dialed up, I said to the woman voice "Uhm, we are trapped in an alien reality, what can we do?" She said with a soft voice, "Sorry for the inconvenience the procedure to return to your reality shall be..." However as in any good production I got some flashbacks. All the problem was caused because an executive assistance in IGS2 wanted some Time-magic, the deal was she would work for a complete effective 24-hour period and the charm will split it as necessary through the 365 day year. That's efficiency. You see, people don't normally work the eight hours :) Anyway, it had the drawback of having enough paradox to bump us from our plane. The flashback, also show me the procedure. Just go to IGS3 bathroom and when you exit, you'll be in the right plane. Here's the flaw in my thought, different realities build different places. So we had a lot to explore. The good thing is that I had Correspondence/Matter. The bad thing is that not all people wanted to stay in their planes, so that alternative pollo, monge and myself wanted to go to our reality, with some nasty vices... We had to outrun them. Many magic duels happened there =) I recall shouting to monge, "what crap of being knows prime 4 and doesn't know shit how to use it!". It was a good fight and almost a tie, we returned to normality, safe, all of us.
When I wake, I started thinking, why didn't I use my ever present entropy as I normally do in these dreams? Maybe it was that this time, pollo and monge were helping... Pollo you need to learn more than Force... The other thing that amuses me, is my obvious: "Of course there's a 5555 in every reality, it's IBM you know..." :)

Enough of normal dreams, now I'll share the rare one.

We, as in nameless crowd, are hanging in a common place, an amphitheatre? Anyway, there I see a guy, I recognized him as God. He is approaching Mariana. If you wonder how I knew it, besides that truth shall be self evident, it was that I couldn't tell if he was confident, timid, happy, angry, anything, he was just there. Nothing else. Ok, returning to the story, he gazed me as I became near of them. Mariana was looking to the vacuum, as if she was in her little bubble not hearing/seeing anything, even when she had that guy in front. So then He talks to me and says "Dile que tiene un montón de cosas en que pensar, que la estoy esperando". And puff! the dream is over. I had an unspoken deal with Him.

Ok so I may sound incongruent, but I'll tell her my dream. I would be against my beliefs if I told her "God gave me this message for you..." Yet, telling I had this dream, isn't against it, so no matter how strange it is, I will act according to the deal and true to myself :P In a side note, don't know what the heck it means. It sounds like a message that is intended to be understood just by her or maybe it's just crap. I normally can track back the script of my dreams. So if I see a golden clock I can tell you, "uh that appeared because two days ago I watched it in the tv" or "it represents my never ending dilemma..." I can do that with the first dream described here, not with this one. Shallom.