Thursday, April 14, 2005

Two new anecdotes to share in this space.

First, I'll make a point, I really respect the beliefs of my friends. I believe that everyone has the ultimate right to believe whatever he/she wants. That also includes "you can believe it just as I can think your ideas are completely wrong". It would be crazy to don't have an opinion of them or always thinking that they are somehow right, people do err.

Yesterday, I went with Jaime to the Asaya center, which is a place to learn reiki and have some meditations. I have dissected that adventure in 3 components, the scenario, the actors and the plot. Props weren't so interesting except for those I'll mention... That place is a house, don't have anything against remodeling a domestic building to become a center, but here are some details, that really made me wonder about the place. From the outside it looks like any other in the neighbor, I had the expectation, that I would enter a specially tuned place... Another detail, they got a little store in an other-time-kitchen :S I'm sorry, but it just seems a bit surreal to have a "spiritual" place with a little store. It's funny. The living room has 4 decorations, one per corner. At NE a full-body mirror. NW, a fountain/cascade that had rainbow colors. The sound was great to hear, but one wonders if the disco era is around the corner. The south face had a pot with four bamboo sticks sprouting out, pretty beautiful; and a stone pillar with a fish tank, with a green rose of legaria (or so I remember). I'm sure Jaime will gracefully name it if I miss. He showed it to me, I have never seen one of them. Thanks for that. It's a plant that under dry conditions wraps itself as a ball, and with water expands. Anyway, except for the cascade, all look classy. There was also a table with shells and sand in the inside, but what really got my attention was a great drawing, and by great I refer only to the size. I'm sorry, but I won't lie to you, it scares the hell out of me that image. Too creepy. It's the face of the mantle of Turin but with a scale of like 2 meters wide... He has open eyes, looking to the front. :| Jaime, has one of them at his bed header... I need to repeat it, with all due respect, it freaks me out. I don't normally disdain religious images, but that's another matter. That was a really big sign I didn't read while entering the meditation room.

So know you know my thoughts about the place, and probably would think I complain a lot, but here's the other face of the coin. I completely liked Fernando and Lolita. Like in, it would be great to talk with them, see how they see the world. Fernando instantly remind me of a teacher I had, named the same. I had already talked about him in this blog. In brief, my teacher was really a great man, that I admired so much. Anyway, Fernando has that relaxed attitude that makes me think he has 19. If that's how people turn out, after mastering reiki, then it's a great philosophy. I didn't had so much time to watch Lolita, she is firm; however, she has the same sort of aura, if I can say so. Maybe I haven't talked about it, but I think, most adults act like teenagers without the dreamy element. It's like they have brainwashed themselves to leave out hope and their dreams, just to be able to have less pain. These guys on the other hand, to my eyes, were like real adults. Having the conscience and experience of someone of their age. Don't know if it makes sense to the reader.

So in my score, we have some bad things (a face...) and two great guys... Let's see how this goes. I enter the room, and I see white garden chairs and some wooden ones. I chose a wood one, you get it? Not a bawn one... This bad pun was brought to you ought of pure simple mind happiness. I should continue. I got with a vow. I will take the full experience, I won't take my prejudice here, I would do as they tell me, I would pretend as much as possible that I believe them. You need to understand me, I just don't believe in chakras, nor spiritual entities. I went there to meditate, I like that state of clarity. I went there to try a different thing from what I normally do (whenever I do it).

The guided meditation started good, I was able to concentrate in my chakras (I do know a bit of theory). I really enjoyed seeing my stomach chakra becoming a rose rose. It felt great spreading out silver slender wings, about meter and half long each one. A red flagy sphere wandered in my sex chakra before Lolita told us that we should combine the golden globe with red light... I almost believe myself touched by Uriel, marking his triangle over my face, even though the lower left corner, he didn't finish it. It was amazing to see the God's sign over my chest. It was a yellowish four base pyramid. Small colibri wings, gold. Each face had an eye, an Egyptian eye. The tattoo slowly changed as the pyramid spun. It had a white soft light as aura. I do felt like flying when Lolita prompted us to be 3 levels above our plane. Yet, all this magnificent experience was shattered. She told us, that a figure was waiting there for us, it was Jesus. BANG! Sorry, it was too much noise for me. I'm out of the mental state. All the time I enjoyed it, bang it ends. I'm sorry, I can't envision a chat with Jesus. Mainly because a dialogue involves he talking back, you know. I can handle people summoning angels, out of body experience, and all of that. However, bringing Jesus to the meditation, was too much. If there are auras, and Lolita can see them, she must have seen how freak out I came. From that point I tried to reenter the meditation state, but I just short-circuited. I imagine a world where my reaction would have brought a disruption in the energy flow of that room.

The meditation ends, I somehow aren't stressed just a "something is deeply wrong here". I walk out mute. I do feel in peace, I know the effect in my body was achieved, but my mind... Today I can't decide if I'll return, if I liked it. The Jesus thing freaks me out.

The other anecdote shall wait, I need to sleep. BTW, again I didn't sleep well after the meditation. Just like it happened when Jaime gave me Reiki. Maybe Reiki goes against my nature. (Ok, someone can say, maybe Reiki just uncovers those muddy things that were already there. It is good to clean the bottom of your river.) On the other hand, I got that idea without real reiki knowledge, just trying to make something plausible, that sounds good... And that's the warning. It's trivial to make up a "truth" that works for one, we must doubt to find truth.

Monday, April 11, 2005

I would have written about the wonderful last night in Rochester, where I ate at the Redwood Room, but now I have a more urgent mood to purge.

A gay male hit on me, flirted me.

It seems it isn't so strange to occur, that situation, to others; but I'm talking about me. Now, I'm kinda flattered but somewhat amazed. How can this happen to me? Someone came to me, presented himself, and voila somewhat we start having a conversation. "Recent" events, have made me very aware of what to look for to know if someone is gay. I knew just by looking, but he was very good keeping a conversation, and he kept telling me subtle kind words. Right now I have something against just thinking what he said to me... I have to say I learnt a lot, mainly how utterly simple it is to hit on someone, je.