Friday, March 14, 2003

It's morning so I can't talk about what went after my last entry, it wasn much. These days while walking to the bus I start to think "Hey, let's think about your problems, ideas, dreams, anything while we walk". I normally just think about an ethic dilemma, a strong argument in pro or against X or about a new story I would write. Yet after ending with protector (a must for any sci-fi fan) I find a bubble of nothingness in my train of thought. So I only think if my will acts. It my sound so Zen... In a way I like it, however there is a part of my who says "You are wasting your time..." It's not apathy, my feelings (some of them in any case) are just as strong as they can be without being beyond the point of being obvious to people. It's not that I have no problems, they appear to be outside my active scope (i.e. they are out of my hand for now). Maybe is the lack of pressure... of a goal? No, don't think so, I've one.

I have not decided if it's good or not this mind state, feel free to send me your opinions.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

It was difficult but I will write today. jeje I'm at tec and really don't know why I'm here, but I figured that I could write an entry. Maybe the blog fever is fading away....

Today my work teammates celebrated my birthday, yesterday they discovered it. It was strange for them, telling me "late but with cake". Even people with whom I don't normally speak or interact gave me a hug. I liked it, even the cake that tasted as coffee (you may know that I don't like it, prefering tea). I like my team, and start to feel a strong feeling of group, to protect, build and maintain it. However to tell the truth the individual part of my work, doesn't go so well...

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

And the maelstorm continues... when is it right to defend a person? Every person has the right to have a fair judge made by an unpartial jury; but how about lawyers obligation to defend... In a world where there is no good people versus bad ones, when is it rigth to help a person. I think one should help even what must will call evil people. In that way I resolve the dilemma, this way I will always help the one who needs it, so I believe justice isn't about deserving.

Yet, how about aiding someone who has hurt you, someone you judge as having made wrong upon you and your people? In that case I prefer myself, but sometimes it's necessary to "help" the other one in order to evolve, to better yourself and maybe grow.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

As almost everyone who reads this knows, yesterday was my birthday. I could talk about what I think about being 23, "I don't feel different". However it was different from the last b-days. This time I wanted to celebrate it, normally I would try to live a normal day, but not yesterday.

The day went completely equal to everyday life, except for the ocasional greet from my friends. I had ecards, cell calls, mails, adv mails for my b-day, and instant messag. As a gift I got two little sheeps in a nice blue box, one form Pollo another form Monge. (G) if you want to see them. Now I only need a rose and a little planet...

The night was strange, as I found myself at sirloins of López Mateos. I was confused of why to be there. I can recall two things which I have to remember: 1) a quick and hard argument to explain why to believe in the atom or the stars but find difficult to believe in other things, 2) Padilla has once again evaded the "When will you give me a reiki demonstration?" Maybe it's me, am I so close minded?

Even though Pollo wasn't there it was the most named one... jeje I need to thank Julio for planning that show (the whole show, not the part about Pollo), and my friends for just caring for me. Gracias.

*Yep, another spanish word to add to my vocabulary in this blog...
Now I participate in two blogs, So I open the call. If you think yourself an ocioso and think yourself worthy of being one, then claim it to the four winds at The Dreaming! We (the concilium) reserve the right to admit or not the candidates. Don't ask yourself what can the ociosos make for me, just write about it....

Monday, March 10, 2003

Sunday was a day devoted to my relax. I woke up late, read, ate with my Mom and went to Omar's house. There we played dungeons and dragons, that served to remind me how much white wolf is great! D20 is a good system if you want to fight, to play final fantasy; that's the reason I enjoyed playing that night, I knewed what to expect. But for Role-Playing nothing like the light, flexible and holly WW system. In D&D you gain experience only from the fights, so I doesn't matter how much you act, repesent, feel your character. And there's the need to constantly view the statistics, or just to see which die to roll.

As Julio see Magic as an important part of his life, I can see role-playing as an activity responsible for many of my thoughts. It has served me well to share knowledge with my friends. Many times have I discussed about the world using rpg terms as the common language.

By playing this thing I can live many lifes, many of which I wouldn't dare to live, some where I can experiment with things I normally wouldn't believe. Once with Allan, it was said that the major tragedy of human kind it's the infinity of lifes it could be, and being only able to live one.

And by far my main argument in pro of playing rpg is just because it let you play. At high school, Martha, my spanish teacher, told us that people aren't only homo sapiens, that we are also homo ludens.We are equally prepared to think as to play. Play is fundamental to the growth of human kind, and people need entretainment. Yet, it is not a distraction, an important part of existing, if not all, is to interact with reality. How can playing about imaginary realms be of any use to us? But here one fail to remember that if you get "Feliz", it doesn't need to give a practical result. So it isn't about the end, but the way.

"Poor of the guys who need to play to live, pity for those who say they don't need it..."
After my little adventure, and a quick bath I went to Nura's house. First I need to explain the dilemma I had. That night I could have gone to Marimar's birthday (have I said how popular is March?). So I was in a difficult position, either go with Marimar, a cheerful girl who could become a good friend or with Nura, a cheerful girl who is or has been a good friend. Notice my poor description, a simple "cheerful girl". I like both of them a lot. But it isn't a friendship so strong, so trying-to-know each other. In a way I think, they share a basic personality (but as always are different in the real world). I had reasons to go to both parties. However I decided for Nura, partly because of the memories I share with her, a little because Pollo promised to go and just enough out of curiosity to go to a "youth meeting". In any case, I feel sorry for being unable to celebrate with Marimar.

Nura is Bahá'i. Basically they sustain that every religion on the world is really the same. That, for example, Judaism, Christianism and Islam is really an upgrade version, a better approach to how God is. For many it sounds good, even logical. I reserve my doubts that any religion is shared by two persons.

She has tried many times to make her friends (Barbara, David, Luis, Pollo and me) come to the youth meeting. I thought it will be a half religious event, but to my surprise it had a minimum level of "doctrina". It was a theme based event, none the less, about "Felicidad". I meet many people there, and that was different .ui As Bahá'is don't drink alcohol, it was a free alcohol and smoking party =) I even song. It wasn't a deep philosophycal moment, but I laughed a lot. Suppose the idea behind is "First let them know that they can get fun with us. Don't scare them as the church does". I thank Nura for inviting me =) So I suppose I'll continue to go for a while... who knows what Destiny has for me...