Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Yesterday didn't had an internet connection so couldn't blog :S Three things to say (maybe four if you know how I count). The first happened Sunday morning. I went with G?nter to the Soriana's parking lot. That doesn't sound so fun until you discover that I went to learn to drive =) Actually, I already knew but not cars with that mischievous stick that changes gear. Anyway I was pretty easy to learn, not so much to master. However, once I did it right for the first time I understood that practice is all I need. Yet, the important part here is to emphasize G?nter personality. He is a really nice friend who I don't see so much, but I only needed to mention my "need" to learn and he promptly offered his car. I know that Padilla said the same. Maybe I'm unfair with Padilla, but with him I have a older relationship, with Gunter it is a younger one. Another issue is that G?nter is very good as a Mentor, I need to say that he taught me more about my current job than anyone (even things he didn't know that I learnt). When I drive my mind is mute, which is refreshing (that also happens while doing excercise and dancing =). This time I used that time to chit-chat with Gunter, nothing zen, but hanging with a friend doesn't need to serve for anything, you already are gaining enough. I think next Sunday I'll repeat that thing.

Yesterday, I learnt a little of tango. Quite interesting. It was great to dance with Alba. Watching her, I relearn much about her. She is a strong woman. Tango is very demanding about who rules. And she wanted to have the pace =) At the same time Allan many times, told me you need to grab her with security. As time went both became better at communicating with nonverbal gestures. Of course the class by itself was excellent, having two teachers is the best way, I suppose. I'm excited to learn a bit more, wish Alba enjoyed it as much as me. Anyway, Tango is superior to the other rhythms. Maybe it is because it is more sophisticated. Allan, thanks for the invitation.

Today, I open my eyes and my room is bathed by blue tones. Silence all there is. For a brief instant I only see my feet, but don't know where I am. I blink, "so this is how it is before I wake up", just after I reopen my eyes; the dog starts to bark, the clock rings and where do all these blue's went? The rest of the morning I just feel strange with that incident. The world before I am.

Today I may have done something stupid. I told the truth without considering the implications. That isn't big deal for someone who claims "the Truth shall free us" (in case you don't know I copied that phrase and here am referring to myself :P However the issues is that I normally do that knowing what can happen. I try to make it even if I completely know that I will "regret" it. It is the same with lying, I know how to lie and try to know when people are lying me. I shouldn't stop thinking that there are bad ways to act...

Sunday, March 28, 2004

"Daniel's Party" was really fun for me, not so much for Daniel. We were only G?nter, Daniel and myself but we talked for hours. These guys no longer work with me, which gave us a special kind of trust on talking about the work. Everyone hears gossips, but while working together it is best not let them run freely. Gossips are dangerous but are fun to spread, just like Diana is fond to say. That party served for multiple purposes, learning their points of views mainly. However walking from Centro Magno to meet the Matiz, was certainly the theme of that night. Reviewing cars at 12 o'clock has a special flavour. Then is the thing about imagining how it is to be without a work, in a city without your family or anyone... You see, it was multi-thematic night decorated with all kinds of feelings. There were nostalgic comments, strategic tips and even a brief discussion about God...

About half an hour before all that started I were with Allan drinking micheladas. That afternoon I opted for a risky bet (at least to my eyes), I would have acompanied Allan and silva on a bar safari. The risky part had nothing to do with alcohol-drinks or women, it was about going out with silva. I was worried, but I took it as an experiment. He never came, but that didn't stopped a nice chat with Allan. I'm starting to think that alcohol has no real consequence, and that is a stupid thing... for someone who hasn't got the habit of drinking I expected to be more easier to be imbruted. That talk reminded me that I want to live alone, but not yet... and how easy is for me to get cycled on an interesting topic, kabbalah this time. I think I have bored Allan enough with that, but there aren't so many people to discuss about it, or not?

Then, or I should say before, I talked with Diana of many things, including the Matiz =) In one part of the chat I tried convince her about one fundamental truth I've found "The world is unfair and at the same time life is beautiful". She already knows the first part, but don't want the world as it is now. (As a side note, being able to change the world is part of the magic of being alive...) So I tried something like "get over it, you cannot control everything to be nice and fair". She, as so many people, is in war with this existence. It is good to see people fighting for a better place; but I'm centre, and that is a bit frustrating. I may sound pretensious but I see all these good people fighting and I see that there's no point on it. There is no war, for there is no opposition just unsense. Perhaps if more people thought that reality wasn't designed or meant to be comprehensible, people would be a little more in peace with their shadow...

I suppose this should be in a different entry, but this one is about different faces of the same... so here it goes. I went for the first time to a gay bar. And the simple fact is that there is nothing I could say that is special about it. Haven't I been warned I would haven't imagined that it was a special gay place. Well, there were mainly guys; but music, decoration or anything else didn't were different. So what's important if nothing happened there? That's exactly my point... btw, martinis stink...