Saturday, January 14, 2006

So right now, I have time and a topic to discuss, ja. What's up with me feeling outside of continuum? Why am I the only one interested in Nomic, ASL and lojban (who I know face-to-face)? How can it be, that at least on the work-related part of life, I seem to understand better the rules... Again I doubt, if I'm just myopic.
Take for example a conversation I had a couple of days ago, someone asked me what did I want of my career. Does I want to be a technical guy all my life? Am I not dreaming to be a manager someday? Without a doubt I told, that yes, I will completely be a scientist all my life, don't ever want to "stop working" and be a manager. For a start because I understand that having that role isn't what others think, a lousy job with no actual work. Second, it's me knowing I don't want a job responsibility "have happy people under your authority". I leave that to people who actually think that's fun or challenging. I wouldn't want to have people not convinced of their job.
The question keeps, am I blind? Why does people have difficulties as choosing their career? I'm not telling I do know for certain that all will be good. Yet, I know, I'm doing what I like, my hobby is already embedded to my work :)
Now, how those my bizarre interests mix with that vocational doubt... Maybe that's why I have those, because others are struggling to find their spot, while I have ocio to spare. Just a thought.
How to start? At 4 o'clock already knew it would be a great day. She confirmed that we were gonna hang out. =) Previous Tuesday I asked her out, we were gonna see Felix, a pal who invited me to a bar at Zapopan. As I had went out so many times with her friends, I thought that I had to repay it. (Well, technicality speaking, they are starting to be mine as well.) Anyway, then there was the doubt. Shall I go to her house that night and then to the place. Or, why not from work start the fun? You can imagine which option I preferred. That's right, we parted from office with no plan to do until ten... Once in the road I asked, where to go? And as destination didn't really mattered, we went to Chapala.* It was a surreal 30 minutes trip. Hanging in the air, planes. Dead little horse at the side. And music, oh music, how strange can luck be to synchronize with talks, with moods... She had only once been there before, and myself was more or less a newbie there. We walked, over the sand, there was a full moon. More than anything else, I could know her more and more. Then a walk to the lighthouse, then through a dark fly-market. At least to me, all seemed new or fresh or classy. We sat in front of the main church, having the moon at the left upper corner all foggy. I cleaned her black shoes from the sand, and then she did the same to mines. More wonderful talk, sometimes dumb, sometimes deep, always fresh, at times sassy. I guess I can't fully describe how it felt, but you can take my word, it was great. Walked a bit more through kioskos and colonial-like buildings. At one point she said it felt great to be there, that she could sense as if we were inside a bubble of time, a vacation from the world. =)
Then we walked to the car, to find I didn't lock it. (Silly me, I am easily distracted, I guess.) There was that topic, about how would I react if Lucy hadn't been there. I said I would feel pretty bad for losing her things. And I meant it. She said that she has problems believing those kind of things I sometimes say. That coming from any other person, that would be unbelievable, but that she trusts me. That maybe I wasn't fully thinking the situation. I've kept thinking, and I guess she may be right. Since I have never been robbed fully, maybe I would crept. Maybe some ideals would shatter, maybe I'ld not be so carefree of material things... Diana and monge, both have told me that my life has been too nice, so maybe that's why I'm still idealist.
Anyway, we arrived to the place, and had a good time. Being sincere, I didn't spend any time interacting with Felix or anyone else... We just heard music, and continue in our channel, our talk. At midnight she decided it was time to leave. She had things to do next day. It was weird to leave so early, have seen it happen to others... I leaved her at her home and without reason we hugged to say goodbye.

*Yes yes, I thanks a friendly couple for the tip.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Frank invites me to eat shrimp tacos. Visualize this, we drive 20min of highway and we end up in a small town, "El Castillo". We walk and found a small depot, there we are gonna eat. It's a butcher place. How sweet can it be? =)

Can I wonder, where's the strangest place you have taken lunch?

Monday, January 09, 2006

This may sound stupid, but I spend too much time with this girl... And I'm losing my temper to set this straight. Am I being less than patient? Am I a moron? What I know, is that for instance I spent my day with she, playing fron-tenis, well learning it. It was great, and she cheering me up was really encouraging. Then we went to end the one thousand xmas' puzzle and there, a perfect moment happened. Don't know if it was all the ice cream she gave me, or the light. She watched me, she smiled, I was in the best place I could have been, in the proper time, in a utter perfection of moment. Time really slows down in those moments. It's worth it, yet a snag persist, for I shall take the risk! And I vow, that this time, I shall go clean.

ps. if you find this unreadable, you should see my head, it's a Gordian knot.

But I shall be true to my history, last Saturday I spent the day with my secondary school mates!! It was magnificent. Have I had a little less composure I'ld have cried... Didn't know I missed them so much, until I saw them once again. I praise the internet for the joy of instant messenger that would surely correct that error. For 9 years they were my bros, my sis. We fought, we mocked, we gossiped... In time we have cried for those who are no longer with us, we have helped each other, we have received the new cubs :) Don't how this will go, but it will be a hell of a party to re-meet those familiar faces. All in all this year seems to be improving hour by hour! =)