Six days before my birthday and I come here to update my last will. Sure I do have one thing much more interesting to say, but I won't. Not yet, and not in english. So obviously I won't leave Pollo my sandman, and Allan is probably out of the game also (for better reasons).

David: pois, guitar, rubik, papercraft.
Julio: computer-related books, heroscape.
Yorch: scifi books
Julian: language-related books
Jaime: rpg books, munchkin
Padilla: graphic novels (excluding Sandman)
Allan: philosophy books, go books...

Damn, almost all my gifts are books, that tell us something. I wish I had something for ale, monge, diana and so on. I know my friendship with them is much more than mere objects. On the other hand, I hardly ever see yorch, but he is the person who should have my scifi. I guess I could give monge my "Dangerous Ideas", but it feels like cheating. Yes, Karina would receive almost everything else, at this point. (Please don't kill me!) However I don't think my Jared Diamond or Piaget books would be rightly served if Karina has them. Who would play my Fluxx? Well, some other day I will figure this out, for now, it is enough. Life's good.

Several days ago I told padilla a simple truth, I would happily play rpg every single day of my life. Two days later I sent an email asking some friends if they wanted to join me. Voila! I'm just doing that. :)

Why am I so excited? Is my life so boring I have to create a magic world as to compensate something? Nah, something much more simple. I like to weave stories. I don't portray myself as an augmented person (to my knowledge), I just describe universes. I'm just glad I'm writing every single day. One day, I will finish my novella; and my friends may read it. However, I write because I love myself while writing. 100% selfish reasons. (Surprise, doing math and coding is just the same.)

I love doing my research while writing, and I have tons of it in this rpg adventure. The players will probably never ever get to know many details, but I love doing it anyway. Why did I chose milk? Why june 09? Who is Pancho? And so on... I'm no Tolkien, but I enjoy having reasons and plausability for everything it happens. A universal juggler.

Campaign are art, by the same merits as any other performance. Will it ever be recognized, as comics step by step are becoming, a supported media? I doubt it, but it is art, even when friends, that should know better, are blind to it. If it is a performance art, shouldn't you repeat the general story? Is Theater an art each time it is performed, or is the global event? World seems to think that once is enough. Oscars are sent to people doing an awesome after-N-repetitions-selecting-the-best job. Nonetheless, I should try... someday.

I should contrast NJ/NY with Toronto, but am I not Memo?? Yes, I am. Therefore, I will talk about Sandman. About Absolute Sandman. Recently Matt, the RG client, gave it to me as a gift. I think I will start a new tradition here. You may not know it, but I love Sandman dearly. Who am I kidding? Anyone who actually knows me, knows that. It is my favorite book. Both because of its content, and because of the story behind me getting it.
I'm almost sure I most have told this story before, but don't stop me. As time goes a person changes so this might not be the same version. This is the story I told myself nowadays. ...Once upon a time, there was this boy studying his career. He loved math, philosophy and computers. Even though he was smart as no one, at least that's how he felt, he wasn't thinking anything exciting. What a waste of dreams and intelligence. He cared to be better in each conceivable way, but he thought that math was the ultimate way to sharp his mind. The truth is he felt lonely in that pseudo-intelligent sphere.
One afternoon while browsing the almost new world wide web, he read a story. A sand tale. It was beautiful. It felt good. It felt old, and tribal. All the right things were there. That was my first reaction. The second was kind of personal. Years ago I wrote a little story poem and it was very similar. Though mine wasn't as good, it was more sad. That's when I investigated all about Sandman. I could have easily download one or two pages. But no, something inside me dissuaded me. I had only read a transcript, so I hadn't actually met the book.
At the time I wasn't economically solvent so I had to save my pennies. I made myself a quest, to buy the first issue and see what it was. My life slowly changed. I was becoming less math oriented, more story oriented. You could say that's when I started dreaming about having a good story to tell to my grandsons. The first issue was good, but not life shacking. It didn't include this tale I found, so I continued. Slowly at first, but eventually it grew to be a rich philosophical garden. What are the endless? Why is Delight gone? Are really Despair and Desire irrevocably twins? I wasn't new to philosophy but Sandman provided me a common language to dream and talk with friends. In time this friends would become my dearest friends. And I personally believe without Sandman they wouldn't be so near, so dear. Sandman became our High Language, especially with pollo.
Trade Ppaper Book after TPB, I bought them all. It took me all my college years to have enough money to buy them all. Now this sounds laughable, but every one of these issues cost me, and I was happy for the bargain. I bought the tenth issue with the money I got from my official first paycheck. And a circle was closed.
Back to present times. Now RG is the place where I am going and I am. So... what if I go for a new quest, acquiring these absolute volumes from RG's success? Life is a funny little story, isn't?

I'm adjusting to this new life. It's funny how a person can really reach your core in a year and so. Last days I was deep blue, but I'm coming out of the cave. So what's my surprise when I find the world changed for my friends just as much as for me. I think all this could be traced to a trip I didn't went. As usual, if you inquire they say it was a vanilla trip. However, being the outsider I can feel that something went different.
They went to existencial lake and no one thought it was worth mentioning. I can see why allan went there. Even pollo. However, what could trigger padilla's journey? Maybe peer pressure, who knows.
I'm reluctant to go there. Why? Because I know it fully well. It's like disneyland. It's great to be there, once in your life; but camping there, I'm not fan of it. The night life sucks. There's not much to do, except rest and relax. It's a fantastic place to meet yourself, but once you do it, go home. There's a good reason why it is a virgin place. It's beautiful, but there are better things to do, elsewhere. Beware of the high tides.
Anyway, sorry for that alegoria, I got carried away. My honest simple answer to "what's the point of existence?" is this. "None whatsoever. There won't be a moment when all makes sense. That's a Platonist point of view that doesn't help you in any way. " However, that doesn't seems to make the trick. They seem to take it literally the "have a dream?" Or imply that you need to focus in one, the best. As if you wasted time following another dream. Or maybe worse. Maybe they can't see anything worthy. That, I don't have a general answer for that argument. I can only tell what works for me. Yes, that sounds as if I have my life set. It isn't. However I know a few tricks. I know, more important I live by the precept, that worthy is whatever you believe it to be. That "transcendental" is an apt illusion we cast for fear in our mortality. That all this questions, they aren't really important. You are getting it wrong. Answering them doesn't make you a better person, nor looking for those answers. You can get the answers, but you won't come out any less existencial. It's ironic. These questions can be thought as the answer of life. This quest is really an excuse to keep you busy. Maybe that's your drift. I prefer enjoying life. Am I a hedonist? No. I'm just saying, do with this life whatever your imagination propels you to do. If your imagination is a bit dry, maybe it is because you are taking your dreams too seriously. Maybe dreams are meant to be fuzzy.

Great changes are in the horizon. I'm leaving my sheltered job for the adventure of living from what I care. I'm not that heroic, not as it sound. I'm leaving because I can't stand doing what I do one more month. I figured that if I'm gonna, basically, start from scratch I might as well do what I wish. My current job isn't satisfying, hasn't been in a long time. And I don't get much money. So I'm poor and have a dull job... Well no more! I will keep being poor for the foreseeable future, but at least I will challenge myself. If any friend reads this, now you know why I bought artemisa, now you know why I won't be seen so often (both in msn and parties).

This I will get thanks to allan and padilla. Yet, I will get it even without them, because I need it. I'm talking about a change in my core values. I'm full of projects, but I need to be a finisher. I know I have plenty of shortcomings for what the future will throw me. I also know I'm choosing, once again, the hard path. Friends have tried to "put some sense" in my new ambitions. To me, to them I answer. Second guessing has no room, only honest shots can be made. I'm utterly novice in being entrepeneur, but despite all this I firmly believe I can do it. I'm clever, willful and I know I'm not natural so I'll surround myself of the good people :P

Against all odds, my dream has never been to work in the video game industry. I don't have that passion. Against several odds, my dream has never been to be my own boss. I don't have that one either. I'm just a curious man trying to solve puzzles. =) And I'm becoming better playing the greatest game I have ever encountered.

Life's good.