Six days before my birthday and I come here to update my last will. Sure I do have one thing much more interesting to say, but I won't. Not yet, and not in english. So obviously I won't leave Pollo my sandman, and Allan is probably out of the game also (for better reasons).

David: pois, guitar, rubik, papercraft.
Julio: computer-related books, heroscape.
Yorch: scifi books
Julian: language-related books
Jaime: rpg books, munchkin
Padilla: graphic novels (excluding Sandman)
Allan: philosophy books, go books...

Damn, almost all my gifts are books, that tell us something. I wish I had something for ale, monge, diana and so on. I know my friendship with them is much more than mere objects. On the other hand, I hardly ever see yorch, but he is the person who should have my scifi. I guess I could give monge my "Dangerous Ideas", but it feels like cheating. Yes, Karina would receive almost everything else, at this point. (Please don't kill me!) However I don't think my Jared Diamond or Piaget books would be rightly served if Karina has them. Who would play my Fluxx? Well, some other day I will figure this out, for now, it is enough. Life's good.

I dream about being a published author some day. If I have an ounce of art in my blood, let it be around written words. The problem is, I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I got a novel start :P My friends tell me I have a good narrative, which is better in Spanish, of course. However I feel I'm a bit like Larry Niven. Excuse me for this blasphemy I know I'm not really there, but keep with me.
I'm reading Interworld from Gaiman. I enjoy it, you don't know how much. However, I can summarize chapter 1 in one paragraph! How's that possible? I mean, had I had that idea, I would had a short story... I tend to be a conceptual writer. That's the similitude between myself and great Niven. You probably don't know, but SciFi got it's bad reputation from being a clever idea with plane characters. You probably don't know, because people don't really care about critical reading. They only know that they don't feel anything when reading Foundation. Maybe frustration. Integral Trees or Ringworld are beautiful master pieces of possible universes, but most people can't care for them. If I don't work hard and I'm lucky I would end up like that. What I carve is to be more Dune-like! And even that is boring for so many. Frankly, if I become Dune-like I won't care if some find my dull.
Anyhow, I'm also striving for a special balance. And here I may sound out of character. The Bible has some terrific literary constructs. I can worship the subtle biblical description. I mean, can anyone recall the samaritan story? The time when Jesus chatted by the well with a stranger? Wow. Unbelievable beauty. It conveys so much meaning. and at the same time it leaves open so many details. Today it seems strange to not briefly tell us how she looked, how her voice sounded of where did she came from. No. She is a stranger. What time of the day? Even what's her name... Doesn't matter. Paul--or whoever-- was a genius! You can enjoy it like that or you can know a bit more. For instance that she was a Samaritan. Samaritans used to be disliked by Jews, though by almost all accounts they were Jews. So knowing that bit enriches the image, but not knowing isn't punished. Wow. I won't go to further detail, for I don't want to be confused as a Super :P but let me tell you that I recognize beauty even in the things I don't like of the world.
On another topic, you know what else I want? Good dialogs. My "Aquellos Entonces" (my novel attempt) sucks in this aspect. My characters talk kind of forced. Incidentally that's why I started my Strip. Maybe that's why friends tell me they don't understand it. BTW, it's NOT a comic strip...
What I'm aiming for my first novel is real character development. I have always had some difficulty in that aspect. Let's describe it. I will use my friends as example :P If I had to describe allan my first attempt is: "former programmer, IT reporter". If I had to describe the last year or so... I would point to the travels and how different from his previous life it is now. Is this C.D? NO it is not! Maybe allan hasn't changed. Maybe my definition of C.D. is wrong. Or I'm being lazy. C.D. requires growing up?? Maybe he learns something new about life. Maybe he gets a new vice. C.D. doesn't need the change to be morally good. If I include his new "I want to have a master in linguistic", does that change it a bit? No, I don't think so. By themselves, they are scenes. I need a thread to wrap them.
His struggle to find his place in the gods-blessed world. Ok, maybe that formula may work. My high school teacher told me there are only 3 kinds of conflict: Man vs man. Man vs Nature/God and Man vs Himself. It's important to realize that Man vs woman is notably absent. Or Man vs dog isn't even in the table. But I digress, though I must write about it... someday. In this case, it seems it's allan vs allan. Now, what's the CD? Or maybe real life has no CD! Frodo was always the good guy. Maybe the Simpsons are right, Homer needs to be stupider every day to be real at all. Or maybe one year isn't enough in this plane of existence.
Let's jump to yorch's continuum. For all I know, his description would be "a workaholic". I know he got a new house and may have dangerous adventures in his town. However, what CD does he have? I'm thinking he has been the same for about 5 years. If anything, the current new thing is his new found love for Mexican wrestling. Maybe Crowley was right. A star can only shine. How this became about life? I think that's one of the values of good literature :P Anyway I have digressed much... Thanks for reading me!

Today I found an old journal. I'm nervous. A long time ago I read ceci's diary. Back when she was a little little girl. I knew she was nervous of me reading it. Only had the chance to read 2 pages. Too intimate, I suspect. Now's time to pay back. Have I say I feel thrilled? The pages are very sad indeed. Back when I wasn't ready to accept my Brightness. There you won't see a stable memo. Those were dark moments... And the scary thing is that I've forgot almost all. Don't even remember when I wrote it. As I opened the pages, it flows, emotions, tons of them. Many condensed. I remember.

I'm so happy of reading it! How life has gone from that low... I wish I could say to that sad memo, don't worry you'll turn alright. The seeds of your Bright future are there. I see I continue to struggle with many weaknesses. That's fine. I'm hopeful now! :D Or was it ever?

Just a detail, I want to thank some guys. I didn't remember it that way. Yet I wrote, "Julio, javier[jaggy], jorge[yorch] and james are a bliss. They show me the kind of friends I can have." Guys, maybe I don't say it much, but all of you gave me hope for different reasons. Gracias.

It's always good to see yourself through the glass of time. =) Life's good.