I intend to make a habit. A numerical trivia. I talked with adan about the monkeysphere. That made me realize, Can I name 150 persons who I care about? No I can't. I got 19. Reader, if I may say, try it at home. How did I defined "person I care about"? Someone who I would love to talk with in 10 years if by some reason I had a comma. I listed them in alphabetical order but it was a real experience to name them. To be honest, I got 5 with no effort, next 10 I had some difficulty and last 3 I almost missed them. I would have regretted if I had not included them. 42.1% are women. If my A/B testing is right... that's conclusive evidence that I have stronger relationships with men. Maybe not surprising to you, but I wasn't so sure. Years ago, I would have selected more women.

Anyway I will do this every year, to track how this works with me. (If I had had 3 male friends less statistically speaking my data would be useless in the gender enigma.)

On another topic, I was talking with daniel about important people when the question was raised... How many men have you met that have deeply provoked a breakthrough in your development? 2. And women? Again, 2.

Should I get a more active role in looking for people like these 4 friends? Or am I set to be Memo so that phase is over? Dunno. I know that my 19-names list just includes one of them. And she's fading out. (And pollo is dead.)

Why do I care about these numbers? To keep me true. I love my work, but I have from time to time remember that people matter and that I should spend more meaningful time with them. Life is good, as it happens, I got 2 weeks off to do just that :D

1. adan
2. ale
3. ana
4. bety
5. ceci
6. daniel
7. daniel r.
8. david
9. hagen
10. ivonne
11. jaime
12. jorge h.
13. julio
14. karina
15. madre
16. mauricio
17. monge
18. padilla
19. yéssica

If you don't see yourself there, there's a chance I'm forgetting you, sorry if that's the case. On the other hand, maybe you aren't that active in my life anymore. I had other names, other years. If it really bothers you, let's talk, this post is about doing that after all! Have meaningful interactions.

Pollo nació el 6 de Agosto de 1981 y le costó a su madre un huevo tenerlo. Lo conocí a la tierna edad de 15 años en primero de prepa, que de tierno no tenía nada ese año. La verdad es que no me cayó en gracia desde el principio. La personalidad de pollo siempre ha sido un gusto adquirido. Ya entonces era sarcástico y de humor negro, supongo siempre tuvimos eso en común. El primer recuerdo que tengo de él fue una vez que en bugambilias él traía una camioneta de su padre para pasearnos. Eramos varios y a mi me dejó la cajuela. ¿Por qué yo tenía que ser el único incómodo? Más tarde él me diría que me eligió a mi, porque yo era el que de sus amigos del tec era el menos fijado, el más como él. A ambos nos gustaba la misma niña, bueno, de hecho eramos un buen grupo pero en aquellos tiempos inocentes, todos saber no implicaba nada. Recuerdo una vez que celoso le comentó a la niña que por qué a mi sí me dejaba tocarle la pierna, lo cuál resultó en su primera cachetada. En otra ocasión fastidió tanto a nura que hizo que esta explotara y maldiciera a toda la escuela, algo que por siempre pollo le recordaría. El pollo tenía una excelente memoria. Para el '98 teníamos que elegir a dónde ir de universidad y pollo y david quisieron seguir a juanjo en una nueva carrera. Pollo jamás aceptaría dejarse influenciar por los demás. Le puedes preguntar a luis o angie o a david y 100% de la gente de mi estudio cuidadosamente seleccionado te dirá que pollosatánico era un chico soberbio y modesto. :) Sólo pollo jamás sabrá lo que hubo entre angie y yo.
Pero fue en la carrera cuando en realidad formamos lo que sería nuestra relación. Pollo había tenido que dejar de estudiar (y lo haría por un año). Fue ahí cuando decidí invitarlo a que me acompañara con allan a su casa de horno de microondas con radio integrado. Ahí aprendimos magic y ahí todos conocimos a los Ociosos. Fue ahí cuando pollo roji-blanco provocó que julio se comprará dos cajas de magic. Lo cuál a ambos nos pareció excesivos, en aquellos tiempos de estudihambre. Las tardes mágicas fueron épicas y lo llegué a conocer muy bien mientras andabamos explorando las lejanas tierras de tabachines o escalando los cubos. Mil veces después de ir con david caminabamos hacia el 632. Nuestras rutas eran distintas y ya desde entonces no ibamos para el mismo lado pero yo disfrutaba su compañía y como me retaba. Fue en esos tiempos cuando juntos descubrimos Sandman y montón de cosas. Gracias a pollo soy un día más joven, porque nunca sucedió. Gracias a pollo nunca olvidaré las copas de nada que nunca probé. Ni el tiempo real. Ni el truco de las tres manos. Manzanillo y Vallarta por siempre me recordarán a él.
La verdad es que tengo tantos recuerdos de él, pero él también los tenía de mi. Él me vió cambiar y no me comprendió. En la vida siempre se necesita un amigo que no acepté tu bullshit y él siempre lo fue. A veces con saña, pero siempre recordándome lo que se espera de mi. Tuvimos en un punto un diferencia y pollo ya era todo un IEC. Pero si de algo puedo estar orgulloso es que nunca nos perdimos. Pollo era grande y fuerte y odiaba las injusticias. Me encantaba platicar con él, porque con él podía hablar a mi forma, de tres temas a la vez con referencias obscuras. Creo que sí lo impacté para bien y no tienen idea lo mucho que me importaba cada vez que me decía que estaba orgulloso de mi. Con pollo fui el mejor memo que puedo ser y tmb con él cometí los peores errores que le he hecho a un amigo. Pollo me conoció bien quisiera decir que yo era el que mejor lo conocía, pero yo a él sólo la piel debajo de la armadura. Pollo estuvo ahí la primera vez que invité a salir a karina. No sé cómo le hizo pero pollo estuvo ahí cada capítulo de mi vida. Desde el día de mexworks, hasta el día en que conocimos al antichabelo. Pollo se había hecho la misión de ser mi cronista y le gustaba contarle a la gente que me presentaba alguna anécdota de mi (algunas de las cuales prefería que no las contara) o debatir mi comportamiento con ellos. Pollo siempre estuvo preocupada de ser el más mencionado de mi blog, he was high maintainance that way.
Pollo con su enfermedad no cambió tanto, como yo pienso que lo haría de haber estado en su situación. Ciertamente sí se volvió más cerrado, pero más por motivos de salud que de intención creo yo. Acostumbraba cada cierto tiempo irlo a visitar a su casa, pero aun así a veces llegamos a ir al red pub. Pollo no quería que la gente supiera de su enfermedad y eso me lleva a creer que no querría que describiera mucho esa parte de su vida. Pero pollo al igual que yo, somos contreras y fanáticos de la memoria. Una de las cosas que siempre admiré de él fue su capacidad de ser amigo, de ser un gran amigo. Pollo movió masas con su dolor. La iglesia de bugambilias, el san javier o la terraza de su cuñado pueden certificar que cuando pollo se movía, ahí estabamos todos. Me duele mucho su muerte y quiero pensar, corrijo sé que el supo lo mucho que lo amaba. La vida quiso que no me despidiera de él en su cuarto la última vez pero por fortuna cada vez que lo vi intenté demostrarle lo importante que es para mi. Hoy pollo pasa a formar parte de mi.
Pollo murió el 16 de Diciembre de 2008. Y siempre lo recordaré por la frase que más le gustaba que yo hubiera escrito, "Quiera sea la vida una y buena".

I have been in Innox for a while. For me, this is a client relationship; however, I have spent so much time here that I couldn't help myself but to develop friendships. This is the place where I met 5 guys from Zacatecas. Almost like a reality show, they were forced to live together under the premise that they would grow and be better developers by working at Guadalajara. With theses 5 guys I spent almost every lunch since the start of the year. I have come to known them pretty well. They aren't the best, neither the bravest, but they are honest with their strengths and weakness. They don't pretend to be someone else, contrary to other friends. Each of them became a bit more like themselves through this 8 months stay. I salute you guys, my friends, I wish you great things. You are younger than me, and somehow I became a role model for you. A guide, a mentor, a link to the world you didn't knew existed. I was proud of doing that job. You weren't a team, but a family. In the truest, cruelest way families actually are. 5 men in a closed space creates hierarchy, struggles and some bitterness don't dismay. You weren't very united, but somehow I befriended you all. Cherish this memories.
Nacho, the quiet, he had a thing for Japanese culture and good movies. I spent several months trying to open him. From all them all, he was the most aware about nurture's power. Berumen, the smiling, he is a top notch programmer, however he still lacks ambition. He is a just man. You won't win against him in a drink game. That's stamina. Rumeni, the friendly, he is a smart guy and probably the most well-rounded of the bunch. He has a noble soul and is continually amazed by life. Eyes of youth. Pepe, the caregiver, he was the nexus in the house. He was the unspoken leader. Basically, he ran the house, he cooked, but most important, he knows that networking matters. Innox Guadalajara will resent more his absence than anyone's else. And, Fabricio, the kid, he was the most immature with all the good and bad stuff that this brings. His loyalty towards me, scared me. He had the most troubles with the rest of the bunch. However, deep down, I think all of them related to him. He manifested the fears and emotions that the other were trying to hide as grown men are taught to do. He was the shadow's group and that deserves credit.
I will miss them in my lunches, and I hope to see them again in the near future. I post this, for a very simple reason, to remember this stage of my life, though small, it was gratifying. Keep well, and thanks for all the beer.

Last weekend we went to guayabitos. By "we" I'm referring to ara, migue, diego, reyna and myself, but mostly to ceci's family and this guy. Have no doubts, I intended this to be a friends trip, alas it was really a family trip. I have said it before, trips main feature is how it make us bond. At the start of the travel, there I was with 50 more persons. My seat was far away from my friends. I tried to stay positive, maybe I could meet nice people. It sounds elitists, but I only found kids and old ladies. Surely that wasn't what I expected.
From the start, I felt a stranger among these people. They were friendly but I was the only guy they didn't recognize. Somehow I wasn't a long forgotten cousin. They knew it. I decided to sleep and take this weekend as a full rest stop. Alas, my friends hadn't the same plan. I'm not a sporty but with these guys I spent the weekend swimming, running, sporting (volley, soccer, football). And all was good.
Well, I had surpassed the first encounters and as the hours passed they come to accept me. I really didn't have problems with the kids. I know how to handle them. Just make them curious. However I had a second obstacle. I realized all my friends in this trip have a SO. Damn it. It was so easy for dynamics to go wrong. Awkward couple-time. Yet reyna was benign enough to not let it happen much. Now that I think it, women in general were the ones who cared no to leave me behind. They perceived it.
After these obstacles I got out of it with both active-full and quiet moments. I got some nostalgia as well. I missed karina, sure, but also ceci. I never went with she to any travel. Countless times she invited me to this same concept. Alas the world isn't as we wish it to be.
So this travel had all it needed to make me feel lonely and powerless, nonetheless I feel it was a great trip. Why? Because trips may not only serve as bonding experience, maybe these are the places to try new things. Be the fool you can be. Whatever works, keep it, whatever don't, no harm was done, keep on :D This guayabitos was the place where I first snorkeled, did magic tricks for kids and get to know a bit better reyna (which I should have done before).

One knows that life is good when one's father greatest worry in his bithday is whether a metal or wood pepper mill should be in our kitchen. Life is increasingly simple. Karina will leave us for Canada. I'll create the next big thing. Friendships adquire tenure status. Deep down I know this can't be so easy; nevertheless, I feel as if I'm mastering life. I don't get everything as I want, but all falls in their proper place. Life will change pace again in about a month, but for now, we have a beautiful day. =)

One day before my birthday, and the office arranged a mini-party for me =D Guys, if you read this, THANKS! You made me feel cherished, loved, cared. Twenty or so individuals decided I had to be hugged, :) They brought 2 cakes. And on my back discussed seriously what's my favorite flavour! My SO brought a yummy multicolored gelatin. Two managers came to say hi. I guess, to people outside of this corp. It isn't much. You need to see the diff... For example, normally when a bday comes a mail is sent with "hi, it's joe sixpack bday, we need 20 bucks to buy a cake." The day comes and we ask some store to bring us a cake. However, this time dulce sent "hi, tomorrow is the bday of our pal and friend memo so..."

Anyway I feel really good of being surrounded by people who care for me, so much.

Today I found an old journal. I'm nervous. A long time ago I read ceci's diary. Back when she was a little little girl. I knew she was nervous of me reading it. Only had the chance to read 2 pages. Too intimate, I suspect. Now's time to pay back. Have I say I feel thrilled? The pages are very sad indeed. Back when I wasn't ready to accept my Brightness. There you won't see a stable memo. Those were dark moments... And the scary thing is that I've forgot almost all. Don't even remember when I wrote it. As I opened the pages, it flows, emotions, tons of them. Many condensed. I remember.

I'm so happy of reading it! How life has gone from that low... I wish I could say to that sad memo, don't worry you'll turn alright. The seeds of your Bright future are there. I see I continue to struggle with many weaknesses. That's fine. I'm hopeful now! :D Or was it ever?

Just a detail, I want to thank some guys. I didn't remember it that way. Yet I wrote, "Julio, javier[jaggy], jorge[yorch] and james are a bliss. They show me the kind of friends I can have." Guys, maybe I don't say it much, but all of you gave me hope for different reasons. Gracias.

It's always good to see yourself through the glass of time. =) Life's good.