Six days before my birthday and I come here to update my last will. Sure I do have one thing much more interesting to say, but I won't. Not yet, and not in english. So obviously I won't leave Pollo my sandman, and Allan is probably out of the game also (for better reasons).

David: pois, guitar, rubik, papercraft.
Julio: computer-related books, heroscape.
Yorch: scifi books
Julian: language-related books
Jaime: rpg books, munchkin
Padilla: graphic novels (excluding Sandman)
Allan: philosophy books, go books...

Damn, almost all my gifts are books, that tell us something. I wish I had something for ale, monge, diana and so on. I know my friendship with them is much more than mere objects. On the other hand, I hardly ever see yorch, but he is the person who should have my scifi. I guess I could give monge my "Dangerous Ideas", but it feels like cheating. Yes, Karina would receive almost everything else, at this point. (Please don't kill me!) However I don't think my Jared Diamond or Piaget books would be rightly served if Karina has them. Who would play my Fluxx? Well, some other day I will figure this out, for now, it is enough. Life's good.

Pollo nació el 6 de Agosto de 1981 y le costó a su madre un huevo tenerlo. Lo conocí a la tierna edad de 15 años en primero de prepa, que de tierno no tenía nada ese año. La verdad es que no me cayó en gracia desde el principio. La personalidad de pollo siempre ha sido un gusto adquirido. Ya entonces era sarcástico y de humor negro, supongo siempre tuvimos eso en común. El primer recuerdo que tengo de él fue una vez que en bugambilias él traía una camioneta de su padre para pasearnos. Eramos varios y a mi me dejó la cajuela. ¿Por qué yo tenía que ser el único incómodo? Más tarde él me diría que me eligió a mi, porque yo era el que de sus amigos del tec era el menos fijado, el más como él. A ambos nos gustaba la misma niña, bueno, de hecho eramos un buen grupo pero en aquellos tiempos inocentes, todos saber no implicaba nada. Recuerdo una vez que celoso le comentó a la niña que por qué a mi sí me dejaba tocarle la pierna, lo cuál resultó en su primera cachetada. En otra ocasión fastidió tanto a nura que hizo que esta explotara y maldiciera a toda la escuela, algo que por siempre pollo le recordaría. El pollo tenía una excelente memoria. Para el '98 teníamos que elegir a dónde ir de universidad y pollo y david quisieron seguir a juanjo en una nueva carrera. Pollo jamás aceptaría dejarse influenciar por los demás. Le puedes preguntar a luis o angie o a david y 100% de la gente de mi estudio cuidadosamente seleccionado te dirá que pollosatánico era un chico soberbio y modesto. :) Sólo pollo jamás sabrá lo que hubo entre angie y yo.
Pero fue en la carrera cuando en realidad formamos lo que sería nuestra relación. Pollo había tenido que dejar de estudiar (y lo haría por un año). Fue ahí cuando decidí invitarlo a que me acompañara con allan a su casa de horno de microondas con radio integrado. Ahí aprendimos magic y ahí todos conocimos a los Ociosos. Fue ahí cuando pollo roji-blanco provocó que julio se comprará dos cajas de magic. Lo cuál a ambos nos pareció excesivos, en aquellos tiempos de estudihambre. Las tardes mágicas fueron épicas y lo llegué a conocer muy bien mientras andabamos explorando las lejanas tierras de tabachines o escalando los cubos. Mil veces después de ir con david caminabamos hacia el 632. Nuestras rutas eran distintas y ya desde entonces no ibamos para el mismo lado pero yo disfrutaba su compañía y como me retaba. Fue en esos tiempos cuando juntos descubrimos Sandman y montón de cosas. Gracias a pollo soy un día más joven, porque nunca sucedió. Gracias a pollo nunca olvidaré las copas de nada que nunca probé. Ni el tiempo real. Ni el truco de las tres manos. Manzanillo y Vallarta por siempre me recordarán a él.
La verdad es que tengo tantos recuerdos de él, pero él también los tenía de mi. Él me vió cambiar y no me comprendió. En la vida siempre se necesita un amigo que no acepté tu bullshit y él siempre lo fue. A veces con saña, pero siempre recordándome lo que se espera de mi. Tuvimos en un punto un diferencia y pollo ya era todo un IEC. Pero si de algo puedo estar orgulloso es que nunca nos perdimos. Pollo era grande y fuerte y odiaba las injusticias. Me encantaba platicar con él, porque con él podía hablar a mi forma, de tres temas a la vez con referencias obscuras. Creo que sí lo impacté para bien y no tienen idea lo mucho que me importaba cada vez que me decía que estaba orgulloso de mi. Con pollo fui el mejor memo que puedo ser y tmb con él cometí los peores errores que le he hecho a un amigo. Pollo me conoció bien quisiera decir que yo era el que mejor lo conocía, pero yo a él sólo la piel debajo de la armadura. Pollo estuvo ahí la primera vez que invité a salir a karina. No sé cómo le hizo pero pollo estuvo ahí cada capítulo de mi vida. Desde el día de mexworks, hasta el día en que conocimos al antichabelo. Pollo se había hecho la misión de ser mi cronista y le gustaba contarle a la gente que me presentaba alguna anécdota de mi (algunas de las cuales prefería que no las contara) o debatir mi comportamiento con ellos. Pollo siempre estuvo preocupada de ser el más mencionado de mi blog, he was high maintainance that way.
Pollo con su enfermedad no cambió tanto, como yo pienso que lo haría de haber estado en su situación. Ciertamente sí se volvió más cerrado, pero más por motivos de salud que de intención creo yo. Acostumbraba cada cierto tiempo irlo a visitar a su casa, pero aun así a veces llegamos a ir al red pub. Pollo no quería que la gente supiera de su enfermedad y eso me lleva a creer que no querría que describiera mucho esa parte de su vida. Pero pollo al igual que yo, somos contreras y fanáticos de la memoria. Una de las cosas que siempre admiré de él fue su capacidad de ser amigo, de ser un gran amigo. Pollo movió masas con su dolor. La iglesia de bugambilias, el san javier o la terraza de su cuñado pueden certificar que cuando pollo se movía, ahí estabamos todos. Me duele mucho su muerte y quiero pensar, corrijo sé que el supo lo mucho que lo amaba. La vida quiso que no me despidiera de él en su cuarto la última vez pero por fortuna cada vez que lo vi intenté demostrarle lo importante que es para mi. Hoy pollo pasa a formar parte de mi.
Pollo murió el 16 de Diciembre de 2008. Y siempre lo recordaré por la frase que más le gustaba que yo hubiera escrito, "Quiera sea la vida una y buena".

I don't know if this blog has any sense anymore. Julio has better English than this poor blogger. :( Ok ok, kidding aside I got my TOEFL results. I was disappointed with myself. Yes, I knew my pronunciation has always been my weak spot, but writing is also so bad :'( It seems I'm able to speak fair enough about business or academics, but mundane chit chat is out of my current possibilities.
On the other hand I got excellent reading and listening scores. I hope that UA can see my good things. All this tests are required if I intend to study my master degree. Maybe it is an excuse, but I continue to believe that I did bad in writing for the same reason I'm good with listening. I have a fuzzy understanding of plenty of things. So I can understand without much clues. This understanding makes me not see the details, the irrelevant but existing patterns. So when I write, I write as I would understand, instead of what people are used to. It's like every time that allan told me to stop defining words, my way.

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The other day I drove my father to a street near el Santuario. For those of you not knowing, that place is where you can get cheap medicines. I hate that place, because I know it is illegal. Nonetheless I don't have the money to buy my father ever damn medicine he wants. I abhor how he decides which medicine to use, as if he was a physician. Yet my family constantly reminds me that it is not my decision how my father lives his life. Up to a point I agree. However I rather not help him poison himself... On the other hand he says he suffers without these medicines he has used fo so long. Anyway, I was there. By accident I scratched someone's car. And what did I do? I leave a note with my name and phone. I don't have much money in my bank account and people in the street told me to just run away. Even my father said it wasn't a good idea to do that. I hoped the other guy would see it wasn't a big deal and that he would pardon me. It isn't the case. Saturday morning I will pay. I'm still looking for a good place to fix my error.

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I have seen tons of times in TV how a lady in distress faints. That has nothing to do with the real thing! Just two days ago karina fainted! Wow. It was surreal. We were watching Dr. House, a specially bloody scene that brought her memories, when she calmly said "You do know what happens when I see blood, right?" I wasn't prepared. I thought it was a pop quiz. "Sure, you get all dizzy as if fainting. But come on, that's just a tv program. You won't believe that's actual blo..." I couldn't finish my line. She dropped. Barely I caught her in mid-air. Nervous laugh. I wasn't scared, nor loose my head. Just couldn't believe this was happening for real. I grabbed her, with special care to her head. With the same calm as she had done I call my mother to come. I rested karina over my bed. Sleeping Beauty. On the other hand, my mother went hysteric. I had to explain her it wasn't so bad. Anyway the lesson is, first aid curses do work. They teach simple lessons that can be handy the moment you less expect.

Yes, she is fine. Thanks for asking.

I'm pissed off. I've already read hp7, so it isn't about spoilers. It's about a kind of mind. The kind of mind who thinks it's good to read the end of a book. What dumb-ass doesn't know that a book is worth for the experience you have through the pages?? What fool can think that he can know a dick of a book he only read the end? Moron.

There are some guys, commonly referred as smart-ass, who delight in the misery of others. Congrats pal, you are that short of becoming one. It's important to remember that those guys are commonly low in self-esteem. They want to procure some power at the expense of the people around. It's like they want make us pay for the misery they have. Having not found the patience/wits/guts/willpower to do the pleasurable activity, but feeling alone they have only one thing to do, try to keep all of us in the same misery as they. It's the proverbial crab in the bucket.

I know Schadenfreude is kind of a natural feeling, but this is beyond it. It's sort of evil to enjoy inducing pain to others.

I want to blog. About what? There's tons of topics, nothing really about my life. It's a thinking time of the year, after all. My main concern is how many of us are becoming fixated on what we "are". So many years of struggling to make a stand on something, to make life meaningful and all that crap have confused all of us a lot. I mean, people actually believe that they are what they believe :P So, with time, they will close the case. No further evidence will show them if they are wrong. It's hard to believe I'm so special as to not be like all the rest in that aspect. Being so sure about anything as to leave no space for doubt, is most certainly a proof that we are wrong and blind. Probabilities are against us. People through history are almost always wrong. They got to act with a simplistic model of life...

Ok, so the previous paragraph is a clunky experiment. I want to know how many read it as if it only expresses what is in bold.

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Julio believes that real friendship is for the rest of your life. I disagree. I see relationships as living things. Julio has a static perspective of every primordial thing I can conceive. I mean, to him, happiness is a frozen moment in time of having everything you want. That's why he doesn't think it's possible. Real friendships die, as anything in this universe. It's wishful thinking that you're set if you found a real connection. Will this petty argument change how julio see friendships? I wish the answer could be yes. Am I so certain about this living meme? Will I ever accept a static view of people? What's the odds that I'm right?

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Recently I've changed my opinion on: abortion, gun control and piracy. For almost all my adult life, I held a position. I wouldn't kill a baby. That was my argument. There's no baby in the first 3 months. Once again Plato is fooling us. A bunch of cells don't constitute a human being. They might one day, but that won't make you fertilize each and every sperm, right? You are not harming anyone if there's no nervous system at all. It can't even feel pain.

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Camilo says it isn't the same to buy piracy as to approve it. I disagree. Isn't your expenses a direct expression of your will? Reyna said that it isn't. That you may approve it, without a financial shadow. That, I can agree. I'm a Geolibertarian, if you must know. Can't imagine a real argument against having weapons if you want.

Farewell James. Life has a way of speaking. It teaches that once a friend goes to live to another city: A) you don't see him ever again and B) The world is flat. That in any other realm would be a paradox. Then again, a man never bathes twice on the same river. I wish him a great life if life goes A. Though if I have to be one hundred percent honest, I wish him an interesting life. One where he goes out of his caul. I respect his choice and all, but I'm his friend. That gives me the benefit of wishing him a better life, a better himself. He, probably, won't ever listen this unasked quote but "Life is too important to take it serious".

Anyway, this entry is for you pal. Not a critic but a "hey, my life will change with your departure". Don't want to sound like a mourn, it isn't. Have I need to talk about who is james, I've say:

He is strange. As all my good friends must be. He is shy and well grounded on his way of life. He is stubborn and has an inner paradox akin to julio and myself. Has a great urge to be kind. His my friend for many things. Among the multiples reasons, he is the guy to whom I can freely roam about rpg, sci-fi and alternative paradigms. He is the guy with whom I have fiercely compete of wod books :D He is the guy go sent me to HUE... wait that's not positive... Anyway, he is one of these fellows I would trust to live with if we were to create a tribe :P

Farewell

So what's the point of having a blog and not posting about a girlfriend?? Well, basically, this blog isn't a synopsis of my life. So sorry, I didn't post about it, because the blog is a complement of my life. Like vitamins, for those who don't get enough Memo :P Doesn't substitute living in my world... Anyway. The news was schedule to be released on Julius Party! And was a blast!

This post was planned to be more informative, but I'm in no mood. San Valentine won't be what was expected...

Today I found an old journal. I'm nervous. A long time ago I read ceci's diary. Back when she was a little little girl. I knew she was nervous of me reading it. Only had the chance to read 2 pages. Too intimate, I suspect. Now's time to pay back. Have I say I feel thrilled? The pages are very sad indeed. Back when I wasn't ready to accept my Brightness. There you won't see a stable memo. Those were dark moments... And the scary thing is that I've forgot almost all. Don't even remember when I wrote it. As I opened the pages, it flows, emotions, tons of them. Many condensed. I remember.

I'm so happy of reading it! How life has gone from that low... I wish I could say to that sad memo, don't worry you'll turn alright. The seeds of your Bright future are there. I see I continue to struggle with many weaknesses. That's fine. I'm hopeful now! :D Or was it ever?

Just a detail, I want to thank some guys. I didn't remember it that way. Yet I wrote, "Julio, javier[jaggy], jorge[yorch] and james are a bliss. They show me the kind of friends I can have." Guys, maybe I don't say it much, but all of you gave me hope for different reasons. Gracias.

It's always good to see yourself through the glass of time. =) Life's good.